EschatoLogic

1.22.2009

when a wrong is so right...


email from homeboy-from-wayback, with the most exquisitely hilarious spellcheck. keep an eye on the farewell:

Hey ya,

i just wanted to send out a short notice to tell you that bay now i‘ve set foot on european and german soil again and that all flights went without any complications.

i‘m freaking tired, but as soon as i‘ve written that, i‘m going to bed and get some sleep. sorry this one is so short, but i thing for now that is all i can do. later, there will be more.

warm retards,
jan.



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12.21.2008

plowed in and just plain plowed


oh jesus god it's winter.

faith in humanity firmly intact, in the kitchen where the wild things are: lefse, kombucha, bread, yogurt, absinthe; who knows what could come from these brews. late night rap sessions, jewish christmases, early morning sleepovers, cemetery ambulations, trashy rock shows, old classmates, new co-ops. hot toddies with the neighbors, hot toddies with andrew bird. wondering what happened to craig t. nelson, wondering at this sense of wonder. being an industrious old lady at solstice, paying local 15-year-olds to dig out my car. one of life's ruts, lasting only 45 minutes and left with a squeal and some burning rubber.

oh jesus god it's so good.


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1.26.2008

onwards, christian soldiers.



The national geographic article everyone's staking positions on. Up in arms,


In his letter to Johns, Hoeven said the article was "way off the mark." He urged its editors back to the state to report on North Dakota's growing economy, well-educated citizens, solid infrastructure and clean environment.

John's responded that the article "was never intended to be an in-depth look at the economy of North Dakota, nor were we attempting to offer a portrayal of the state in its entirety. We were looking at the rural North Dakota landscape and probing the stories behind some of the abandoned homes that still stand." (star tribune)


vigilante defensives have no qualms talking about nodak's 'growing economy' in the same firebreath as they wonder why kids these days have become either drunk outward emigrants (ahem) or listless locals drinking their way towards useless college degrees. what if these might be, shock, sewn and reaped from the very same sensibly warm cloth? but this one won't keep many of us warm in a blizzard.

it's the one in which tin roof cesspool hog farms and monstrous mechanics and a biodiversity as white as the asses of 92.3% of the population have been ordained the law of the ever-eroding land. the one in which our our agri-culture is "based as much on petroleum as on the soil...[in which] we need petrolem exactly as much as we need food and must have it before we can eat (berry). in which we funnel subsidies (out of every one of our paychecks) to the biggest and most exploitive. in which we pour poison directly onto food (wtf?), call it intellectual property, ship it directly out of the state, and then drive over to the golden corral™ to eat a steak that was raised in argentina.


the grain being harvested next to the tracks will be moved out of the lankin area by those same tracks. next stop panama!

we shit where we eat but we don't eat what we grow. and we're cocksure that linear productivity and incessant, unexamined technological 'innovation' is the only road to the future. the ditches of this road are littered with massively displaced and disoriented people who are, in this cosmos, just slow, lousily obsolete machines. so afraid of our capacities as human animals, experts tell us we are unable to do things for ourselves and then we pay them to do those things for us. women are scared to push out the very babies they grew themselves and hire surgical specialists who are paid hansomely to reinforce this. we are terrified of the social implications and raised eyebrows that come from learning for ourselves so we take out massive loans to sit in classrooms. and we're all to blame, this isn't just oppressor and oppressed. every one of us is implicated in burning up our world and freezing each other out of our relationships with one another. i paralyze myself with fear over the future and forget how delicious this very instant is. but we're also double agents. we do things to prop up the status quo while at the same time doing things to break it down. i'm complicit in treating people like broken machines who need $25 tabs of aspirin by working in the hospital, but i also surreptitiously guard the door as women take off their monitors so they don't have to be tied down to a hospital bed in labor.

so, what do we do? who knows! but a good start is to quit treating the 'economy' as some prideful mythical creature that must always grow, or like a clitoris needing constant stimulus. (we should, of course, be focusing on real clits instead). the 'economy' does not take into account the real-life costs of anything, especially the (non-monetary) costs of displacement of people from their farms or towns or sub-prime mortgaged homes or their countries for that matter. it's a measure of complete unsustainability.

start embracing possibilities that are excluded from dominant arrangements. constantly try to make one thing that you currently buy, learn one thing that you don't currently know, look at one viewpoint that you don't currently look at, get awkward. eat real-live food that was grown close to you or grow it yourself. get a good parka and get a bus pass, get a bike, take a walk. i hear there are some nice food coops out there, perhaps even in dead-and-dying North Dakota :). start thinking about things as being parts of the cycles that they are. one thing never ever stands alone, and seeing this can help delineate the effects that we have on everything else, including each other. don't think that health has ever been something you get from a 'healthcare professional', but notice how health is part of that whole cycle-wholeness, and it most definitely includes other people, the land, and other creatures, kum-bah-yah. nobody's got it perfect, but that's exactly because we can't control everything and should not even be arrogant enough to try (and goddess knows i try).

if we're part of everything else, then our current agricultural practices (and most of our large-scale actions) are suicide. national geographic was not way off the mark, and we all know it even if we don't want to see pictures of it in a large national publication. they're right about the 'irreversible' thing; cheap oil and changing mobility have changed the landscape forever, starting with allowing for the movement of europeans onto the land in the first place. the secret is that landscapes constantly change, everything does. but for many, the change that is brought by our collective charging onwards, by train or tractor, can be a lonely prospect, especially on an empty prairie:

[T]he man walked the tracks each day for the two miles into town, did this year after year. One day he apparently did not hear the train and was killed. Bjella pauses, lets the tale float almost weightlessly in the air with its whisper of suicide. Self-destruction is not a forbidden subject in North Dakota, and people easily tick off cases in their neighborhoods. One woman came across a death book compiled in the early decades of the 20th century. She says the records show a remarkable number of people killed by trains. (link)


trust me
you can hear a train coming on the prairie
a mealed muscled scream charged air
generations ears to the ground steel gallop full bore

broke down busted
how much despair dares
nostalgia, utopia, boomtown
big-agro diaspora
step over the ties that bind to the place
cattle catcher aimed for the center of the face






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10.21.2007

RIP Walter Sobchak



wailing and rending of garments!

which was actually a few tears over a bottle of wine when he would have been curled up on my belly; some 'high life' spilled out for the dead homegirl over ironic country music at a hipster bar; and responding to the assertion that i could go to the five-and-dime down the street to get another python with: "it's only been dead for fifteen minutes. i need at least a half an hour."

Walter:

you'll never eat that school kid in the alley you wanted so badly, your party trick of trying to eat yourself was never too campy or overdone, and i finally forgive you for biting me in the back that one night.

montage!











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4.24.2007



i've been walking with a blind man
two days out of seven.

silently at first,
watching him poke a path that would be precarious
if i had it less than good...

but he's the one that can pour coffee with his eyes closed.


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3.07.2007

ours go to eleven





just saw christopher guest on the train.

tan, frumpy, human. no mullet.


2.22.2007

nervous tic motion of the head to the left


on my beeline to the bus yesterday, i was diverted by a woman on the street. her hook:

"got a quarter, bitch?"

if i had it, i would have given her a dollar.


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1.15.2007



dogs chase their tails, i take pills to create superbugs. my snake? it bites itself.

born from the same principles that spin the earth in its incessant, maniacal circles?

finally free of his very own death grip, walter displays how her dinner has adorable ears:





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1.10.2007





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1.02.2007


the fresh year rings between pigtails, lopsided.

heart sillystrings hoist mud up an old tree.

my hands are cold.

reset.



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12.12.2006


six forty three and never again to attend UND...


12.10.2006



well, i actually paid attention to the lyrics of the neo-christmas classic "Baby It's Cold Outside" today.

could this possibly be the anthem for date rapists everywhere?

to wit:

female: i simply must go / the answer is no
male: mind if i move a little closer / what's the sense in hurting my pride?
female: say, what's in this drink?
male: but don't you see--how can you do this thing to me?
baby don't hold out / baby it's co--old outside!


fall-on-your-knees-o-night-divine, indeed.


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addendum to preceeding:

huh.

second bar of three--as bartender (we'll call him "beef") pours our third round of two-for-ones, i submit that the city is considering outlawing such outlandish 'specials' to curb binge drinking. his noble response?

"maybe it would help if they'd give us something to do in this city!"

up for a scavenger hunt? there's at least one trope and a multivalent paradox in here somewhere.

puked all over my recycling last night...wonder if they'll still take it.

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we are here to drink beer and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us.

-c. bukowski


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12.09.2006


walter wants to go on the plane.





something's missing here...


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it's raining gay men...with their severe pinstripes, their soap that chaps my hands and their wüsthof knives.

hallelujah!

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